Lost Thoughts & Soul won

A coffee vs groceries money memoir

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⏰ 5 minute read


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Bibles and diapers

Another Monday. I mean Thursday. What day is today? Oh yeah right, today we are going to our Thursdays morning Bible Study. Picture the morning rush of my four homeschool kids on our weekly challenge: everyone make sure teeth are brushed, get dressed, pack Bibles and diapers, and head out of the house in a timely fashion and crush the cultural expectations of “its Myrna, she’s an Islander, of course she will be late”. Island time – no time.

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adorable coffee shack

Kids are in their own time. It takes a while to leave our mini farm, where everything is a 30 minutes drive. But we are excited! One more week of our weekly tradition of coffee for mami and kids size hot chocolate at an adorable coffee shack along the way. 

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“Mami is the best!”

The coffee place is not bigger than a small child’s bedroom. It has big brown letters on top that says COFFEE and a miniature porch. On the left side of it there’s a window for your coffee drive-through. What a great day! This coffee + 3 hot-cocoa started as an incentive to get the kids in the car, have good cheer during our long drive, and why not, for them to think “mami is the best!”.

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children are not a mistake

A good mom make sure there’s food on the table. And in the pantry. And in the fridge. Our budget was on-point for our family of five’s groceries. How am I going to feed a family of six? I lost my job while I was eight months pregnant. Yes, we thought we were done. I know that I know children are not a mistake. My job loss wasn’t God’s out-of-reach or a glitch in His sovereignty. So why did I lost my job, have a fourth child and all happening with a year of worldwide turbulent state of affairs? Well, that’s not the point isn’t it. The point is, when I do groceries for six, I don’t want to keep unloading my cart so I don’t go over our budget for a family of five.

Oh, our Budget. I haven’t tell Mr. Bud that we have one more family member, that I spoil my kids with a weekly tradition of coffee and hot cocoa on our way to Bible study, and that we need to alter our numbers. It knows about my job loss, though… I couldn’t hide that for long.

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Image of coffee cups and smaller hot chocolate cups showing My husband's $80/month for weekdays coffee.  Weekly coffee + 3 hot chocolates for a $40/month expense.
My husband’s $80/month for weekdays coffee. Weekly coffee + 3 hot chocolates for a $40/month expense.

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I make an appointment with Mr. Bud and we looked over our numbers and looky, looky! It seems that the total amount of my weekly coffee +3 hot chocolate plus my husband daily coffee on his way to work, comes down to an amount that will be ideal to add to our groceries.

I got emotional. I got attached. I got reluctant. “I am not going to stop my medium hot caramel latte with two sugars plus 3 semi-hot kids size hot chocolate tradition from the most adorable coffee shack stand with drive-thru on our way to our weekly Bible Study!” 

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I was also the selfish one

How can we budget for both fun traditions and basic needs? I switched our tradition to every other week schedule. That was then now we were not on time every other week. I try buying coffee only for myself. I am the grown-up. I am the one that needs the coffee. I am the one that manage our finances. And as my kids pointed out, I was also the selfish one.

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Oh, because it was our thing!

Selfish and stingy it’s not how I want my kids to remember me. Why did I think up a tradition that involves money? Will the grow with poor mentality thinking God’s provision is not enough? How did I allowed coffee and chocolate become this important? Oh, because it was our thing! We look forward to it! A random moment of joy together. How can we keep a joyful moment together without the expense?

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HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS WORK?

After much prayer and disillusion, I did what you may have already thought of. I bought coffee, add-ons, a big container of hot-chocolate mix, mini marshmallows, and to-go mugs for each person. At night, I get mugs out, set the machine to make coffee at 5am, and fill up the electric kettle with water. So far, no complaints, save us time, and all is enjoyed even on non-Thursdays days. 

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In summary…

My story may be borderline ridiculous. I think it’s mostly because I got so emotional about it. But this is what I want to share it with you. Ridiculous or not, don’t be quick to cut from your budget your fun traditions. Or your thing. Or whatever you’re looking forward to. Nor your joyful moments.

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Your takeaway…

Try to tailor★ your budget. You may already have the money you need.

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Now your turn. Share in the comments…

Express in the comments your fun tradition and how are you tailoring your budget (or will) to make it happen.

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PD: ★tailor = a person whose occupation is making or altering garments (such as suits, jackets, and dresses) typically (a budget!) to fit a particular person.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tailor

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SHARe

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I have been there, done that. Not knowing where the money went...

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